![]() ![]() “Do I want to feel overpowered? Do I want to feel taken care of? Using those feeling words can help navigate what actions or activities you're going to put on your list.” “Do I want to feel degraded?” Lange says. When first experimenting with a YNM list, all three experts say you should start with your goal feelings, not necessarily what you want to do, because people have different associations with certain sex acts. So, how do you actually make a yes/no/maybe list? Beginner-Friendly Bondage Toys You’ve Gotta Try.And so that context may ruin something where the sensations are actually desirable, but the context is off for someone.” “ You've been a naughty girl and I'm gonna put you over my knee and I'm gonna punish you. “With the example of spanking, most people associate it with punishment,” Kali says. Listing goal feelings can also help you identify the contexts in which you like or don’t like certain acts. “You can get attention in plenty of ways that don't involve getting hit,” Jean explains, “but it can be confusing because it can start out feeling fun and different until you realize you’re putting up with the pain for this other feeling that you like." You could love getting attention but hate feeling pain, in which case, spanking would fall under your “no” column. “You can absolutely put those on a yes/no/maybe list.” “ I do want to feel small, but I don't want to feel degraded, for example, or I do want to feel slutty, but I don't want to feel used,” Lange says. While your list can be a simple chart of sex acts, the experts recommend using the space to flesh out your “goal feelings,” or how you want sex to make you feel. It’s not in lieu of a consent conversation.” Is a yes/no/maybe list just for sex acts? ![]() “Just because I said yes to this doesn’t mean it's always on the table all the time. “It's not a consent contract,” Jean clarifies. One thing a YNM list is not? A binding agreement to do anything in particular, or an excuse to forgo ongoing discussions around consent. Maybe you say, yes, you’re into pegging, but only under certain circumstances or only with certain toys.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |